Sunday, May 20, 2007

Not Stitching

I haven't stitched any the last 2 days. That's the longest I have gone without stitching in ages!
Yesterday I did some cleaning - getting ready for DD's Dad to come on Tues. I went out to check the mail and my neighbor, who I've only talked to a few times, was sitting on her porch, and she and I started talking and ended up talking over 1.5 hours. We talked a lot about my son's death. She had a son to die of leukemia when he was 7-years-old. So she really understands what I'm going through. He died 22 years ago. I asked her how long it took her to feel like she was living again. She said about 6 years ago (16 years after he died) she finally got to where she didn't think about him every day and felt like she was happy again! I am content now and I like my life. I have very happy moments, but I'm not happy like I used to be. After I talked to her, I felt so much better and calmer. I didn't HAVE to stitch like I normally do to keep me from feeling like I'm going crazy. I don't have many friends who have stuck with me after my son's death. They've kind of drifted away. I really don't have anyone to talk to about my son. I think talking about him and his death really helped me yesterday. Today, I got up feeling like cleaning my house and I have worked all day - sweeping, washing, mopping, polishing, etc. The front hall and kitchen are spotless! DD even got in the mood and cleaned her room - it looks great! She also cleaned my son's room. Her dad is going to stay in DS's room. DD spends more time in DS's room than she spends in her own.
My mom is coming tomorrow to "help" me finish up the cleaning - mostly the den and my room. I'm not going to let her do anything - she's not well enough. But she will inspire me to get it done. She has always helped me a lot in my house. When I was teaching and trying to take care of my children, I had a hard time keeping my house clean, so she would come often and clean for me. One time I was teaching about drawing conclusions in my reading classes. The kids, 6th graders, just weren't getting it. So when I got home, I wanted to see if my own children could do it. DD was about 7 or 8-yrs-old. I asked her, "What would you think if you came home and the house was all clean and everything was put up and supper was on the table?" (I can't remember what conclusion I wanted her to draw). She didn't skip a beat. She said, "Granny's been here!" My mom really got a kick out of that! My mom just can't accept that she's not able to clean like she used to, and it really bothers her that she can't help me. So I told her to come tomorrow, but she will mostly be supervising!
Well, better go. I started a little piece for my sister on Friday. Her birthday is the 24th. I need to get it finished. We're thinking about having a homemade ice cream get-together this weekend and surprise her with a birthday party. I'm doing a cute piece that has 2 girls facing each other holding a heart, and it says "Sisters" under the picture. I'm going to make it into an ornament or little pillow to hang on a door or something. So I'd better get busy stitching it! Have a happy day and may God bless you!


Jenna said...

I'm so glad that you were able to talk with someone about your son, especially someone who could really relate to what you have gone through. *hug* Have a wonderful week!

Old4sure said...

Sounds like a good thing to work on. And the making of a good party for her birthday. I totally sympathize about the cleaning. I get one or two things done, and I can't do anymore for the day. I will be glad to get my good health back. That should help me. You know, that talk with your neighbor may have done good things for you. Have you gone through one of those groups that help parents who have lost a child? those programss have helped lots of people including me, when I needed them....different problems, but I needed to be with others who could understand. Big Hug for you. Cyn