Friday, September 4, 2009

Ranting (Sorry)

Sorry I haven't posted in a week. Things have been pretty slow around here. I've had a bad migraine the last few days. I don't have them as often as I did when I was teaching, but when I do have one, it lasts for days and is extremely bad! I can't take any of the migraine meds because of my high blood pressure. So I take Excedrin Migraine and darvacette (not sure 0f spelling). And go to bed with a cold washcloth on my head! They "steal" days of your life!! I'm also having trouble with my car. When my son was alive, he and DD totaled 5 cars. The one I have now is 15 years old. It's really a pretty good car. But now it won't always change out of "park". It might when I go out and first start it, but then when I go somewhere and get back in to leave, it just will not move out of park. I'm scared to drive anywhere unless I'm just going to a drive-through for something! My brother was once a mechanic and he usually fixes things up for me, but he's been real sick and busy with my mom so he hasn't had time yet. I love being retired, but I miss having money to get things fixed!

Also because of my car, I have almost finished 2 charity pieces, but I've run out of some of the threads. I'm afraid to drive to the LNS to get the threads. I might end up having to stay at the store and I'd wind up buying everything she has!! lol I also have 10 squares I need to mail, but again I'm afraid I won't be able to get back home. DD works until 6:00 so everything is closed by the time she gets home. And she's very picky with her car (wish she had been that way when she was driving my cars! lol) and won't let me borrow her car. Since tomorrow is Sat., she and I are going shopping and I'll finally be able to get what I need!

Not being able to drive my car also means I can't visit my mom. She is almost settled in her new apartment that she hates! And I can't visit her. She still drives, but for some unknown reason she can't seem to drive to my house! When I call her, she puts me through guilt trips. She has always been able to do this to me. I know I say, "I'm sorry" more that any other person in the world! And now my brother, who has only lived in our town for the last 2 years and lived the previous 30 years in Fla. or Tenn. , has started putting me through guilt trips, too. He has been doing everything for Mom since he moved here and really, as far as I'm concerned - it's about time he helped! I have always been the one to take care of Mom and Dad. They were in and out of the hospital for years - mostly my dad. I was the one who stayed with them constantly and took care of them and visited them every few days!

I have had depression since I was a teenager. My 18-year-old son died in a car accident 4 years ago. My dad died 10 months after my son. To say I'm depressed is putting it mildly. There are days when I have to make myself get out of bed! I'm on 2 antidepressants (high dosages) and have anxiety pills for anxiety attacks. My mother thinks I should be "over" my son's death. She loves to argue with me about which is worse - losing your son or losing your husband. I try not to get into this with her, but she won't stop! I've told her that it's not a competition - one is as bad as the other - they're just different kinds of bad. When I want to talk to her about my son and how much I miss him, she says, "Well, what about me! I lost my husband!" So I don't talk about my son with her. She also starts every conversation with "I don't think I'm going to live much longer." She says this to her child who has severe depression! She is in great health for someone 80 years old who has had open heart surgery! My brother and I say she will probably outlive us! I have told her that I wish she wouldn't say things like that, and then she swears she never says things about her dying!!! I try to be optimist and enjoy each day. I've told her that I have learned the hard way that you don't know how many days you have left on this earth! You should live each day like it might be your last! She keeps telling me I shouldn't cross stitch so much. Don't ask me why! Cross stitch is the only thing that keeps me sane!! So that's my life right now: Staying at home, cross stitching, being depressed, having to be put through guilt trips by my mom and brother (and, oh, by the way, there is my sister in all of this who for some reason doesn't call or visit Mom and it doesn't seem to bother her!) I wish I could be like her! Of course, Mom makes excuses for her "bless her heart - she's sick a lot; she's not as smart as you; etc.!!!!!" Boy! I'm really on a rant today, aren't I! I'm sorry, but sometimes you have to rant to someone and I don't have many people I can rant to. I'm going to go cross stitch and watch TV. Oh, by the way, DD has been too busy to take pics of my cross stitch: hence - no pictures! Maybe she'll find time over the weekend! Have a day full of happy moments; and may God bless you!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Misfortunes and Charity Stitching

During the last year, my family has really been through a lot with my mom. After she moved from the mobile home to an apartment, she had a very bad car accident - her fault. She was not hurt too bad and my sister had some nerve damage to her face, but luckily, it doesn't show. Then a few months later my mom fell going down the walk at her apartment and broke several bones in her wrist. She had to go to the hospital and have surgery on her hand and wrist. She is still working on getting all the use back in her hand and it's her right hand! Then a few months ago she found a knot in one of her breasts. When she went to the oncologist, he actually found 2 knots. He did a biopsy. I was scared to death! But she was very fortunate, there was no cancer. THEN, on July 5th, her apartment building caught on fire and half of the apartment building burned down. Again, luckily, Mom's apartment wasn't burned, but she did have severe smoke and water damage. Everyone got out of the apartments safely. They determined that a man fell asleep smoking in bed! Twelve apartments were destroyed!! It was terrible!

A cleaning company picked up ALL of Mom's belongings and cleaned it all! They got rid of all of the smoke and water damage! They also stored all her possessions until we could get her into another place and delivered it to her new apartment. They were truly great!

The first night, she stayed with me, but I have 3 inside dogs (she hates dogs!) and am not the clean freak that she is! We almost drove each other crazy! The second day, she went to my sister's and stayed 1 night. My sister also has 3 inside dogs and her father-in-law had died 2 weeks before and she had a lot of his stuff at her house. Therefore, her house was a big mess!
My brother didn't even offer to let her stay with him; he took her to a very nice motel. Luckily, the apartment complex will not rent to anyone that does not get renters' insurance, so Mom had insurance that paid for everything! Then we went through weeks of trying to find a new apartment for Mom. She went back and forth between getting another trailer and going to a new apartment!! We (her kids) almost went crazy!! Finally, another apartment came available in the complex she was in originally, so we moved her in it last week! She was in the suite at the motel for 5 weeks! Of course, she's still not happy with this apartment. She's never been happy any place she and my dad lived! But, being the oldest, I have told her she is there to stay (barring another act of God!), and she needs to learn to be content!! SO - that's a big part of the reason I've had trouble blogging! I have been so stressed out! We all need to HIBERATE for a long time! But I have been able to cross stitch as much as I could! It's the only thing that has kept me sane!!

So, I'm really into charity stitching lately. I had gotten burned out on charity stitching last year and had to stop for a while. I have finished a lot of squares since I started up again and will show a few at a time. The 2 ornaments above (not FINSHED finished yet) are for a lady in one of the stitching groups I am in. She is collecting ornaments and she's going to put up and decorate a Christmas tree for the soldiers at Fort Bragg this Christmas. I was really excited about this. I have also finished a 3rd ornie for this but haven't had DD to take it's picture yet. I enjoyed doing these and plan to do several more
The square above is for Love Quilts. It is a theme quilt for any child. I'm sure you've figured out the theme is teapots, teacups, or tea parties. I really enjoyed stitching this. It came from 1000 Great Cross Stitch Designs. DD's picture makes it look smaller at the top than the bottom, but it's really square!
The square above is for Kole M. at Love Quilts. It also came from the 1000 Designs book. I combined 2 patterns to make a picture of 3 balloons. I am very happy with the results.

The square above is the first I stitched after getting the charity stitching bug again. This is for Emily F.'s quilt at Love Quilts. I'm also stitching a sleeping kitten for this quilt. I ran out of the gold thread I'm using on it and haven't gotten to the LNS to get some more yet! I'll show a pic later. But it's really adorable.
Well, I'd better get to work on the square I'm working on right now. It's another teapot. I'll show a progress photo later. It's hard to pin DD down long enough to get her to take the digital pictures for me. (Of course, she won't trust me with her camera!) I'm so glad some of my dear friends on the NET have not given up on me and read my blog yesterday! Thanks, Felicity, and Chiloe! Got to go! Have a day full of happy moments, and may God bless you!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm Back Again!

It's really been a long time since I've posted! I couldn't get my scanner to work and DD finally found her digital camera so she could take pictures of my xstitching and download it for me. I don't like to post without pictures! My life isn't that exciting anymore! lol

The picture above is one of my finishes. I started this a couple of years ago and finally finished it about a month ago. It came from an old mag, but I photocopied it (just for my use - did not violate any copyright laws!) and I don't remember which mag it was. I really enjoyed this. It's a tribute to my dad, and I can't wait to get it framed! I meant to edit the picture before I posted but forgot, and then couldn't figure out how to delete it from this post. I'm on DD's laptop and not real good at using it!

I have many more pictures to post, but it's very late around here. Really it's very early in the morning, and I will probably add some more later! Have a day full of happy moments!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Not Forgotten, After All

I am so glad to know I haven't been forgotten. Thanks, Carol and Chiloe, for your comments! They were so wonderful to receive!

I haven't substituted any this school year. I've been sick a good bit; they have a new calling system, and I haven't gotten many calls to the good schools; and I just decided I don't want to sub! If I'm careful, I can make it on my retirement pay, and I have more time to stitch! lol
The only problems are the furry babies; they are spoiled rotten! Especially Bebe! She sits in my lap constantly, which has really slowed down my stitching! She is curled up in my lap right now; so, I'm typing EXTREMELY slowly!!

I am very close to finishing the piece for my sister. I have run out of one of the colors. I went ahead and finished everything but that color. I just haven't felt like going to the store for it.

One of my resolutions this year is to finish as many UFOs as possible. But I have so many, and I do so enjoy starting new pieces! Have any of you started something, put it aside for a while, and then didn't like it when you went back to it? I have a couple of things that I really don't like anymore, but I've put so much work into them! That's why I'm going to make myself finish them. Until a couple of years ago, I only worked one piece at a time. I enjoy working on several pieces at the same time, but I've gotten carried away and have too many! Anyway, that's why I'm going to finish my UFOs. Maybe the ones I'm not that fond of anymore will make good gifts next Christmas! I'm also not going to let myself get so many UFOs again.

Speaking of Christmas, we had a very quiet but happy Christmas this year. (Well, last year now! lol) I worked so hard on the cross stitching, I didn't even get the house decorated. We didn't even have a tree. It's the first year that has ever happened! But my family still got together; and DD, her dad, and I still had a fun Christmas Day. DD wanted money this year. Her dad and I gave her money, and I picked up a few other gifts for her. But I'm not going to do that again. It wasn't as much fun, and it looked like her dad and I didn't give her very much.

Well, Bebe is driving me crazy! I'd better go and rock her. I just can't understand how she got so spoiled. lol Have a day full of happy moments, and may God bless you!