Friday, January 26, 2007

Jeanne Love's Angel


This is my progress on the angel for Lynzee at Love Quilts. This is a freebie on the TW Designwork site. It's Jeanne Love's Angel and was designed by Teresa Wentzler. I have never stitched anything designed by her, but I really like this and will stitch more of her designs. I'm over half way finished with it.
And the news on the homefront. I have decided that I don't want Katie's Dad to move in with us. I thought it was going to be a temporary arrangement, but he turned it into a permanent thing. Then he started telling me the changes he was going to make - cut down my trees, turn the garage into a bedroom and do the outside with rock, get rid of the "clutter" ( in other words, "my stuff"), redo the floors, etc. I have never been able to stand up to him. (or hardly anyone else either!) I visited my mom (who is also bad to tell me what to do) and really talked out the whole thing. She just sat there and let me voice all the pros and cons of him moving in. After hearing it all out loud, I knew I couldn't let him move in. I am looking forward to living alone when my daughter gets her own place. I didn't get married until I was 32 and I loved living alone. I have lived through so many tragedies and all I want now is peace and eventually solitude. At my mom's I wrote a letter to him, telling him exactly how I feel. But the next day I decided mailing a letter wasn't the best way to do it. So I called him and READ THE LETTER to him. He wasn't very happy and didn't understand why I couldn't talk to him. But the five years I lived with him (which was HELL), he never listened and wouldn't talk to me. Why would he think I would think I could talk to him now? He tried to make me feel guilty for not rescuing him, but I made it clear that I don't owe him anything and I have to take care of myself for once! He was only going to give me a little money and I would have had way more bills. He has a way of working things around so that the other person is paying everything and you don't know he has manipulated you into it until it is too late. I'm glad we have always been friends for my children's sakes, but I am not too old to find someone else to love once Katie is on her own. I know he and I will never be husband and wife again. But if I don't find someone, I will enjoy a life of doing what I want with no one to answer to. After I talked to him, I also talked to my mom for a long time and we were very honest with each other. My mom is a perfectionist, and her house is always spotless with everything in its place. She has always pestered me about my "clutter" and wanted to come and help me clean! She is 77-years-old and is not able to do it. But she thought if she helped me get my house as spotless as hers that I would feel better and not be so sad. I finally made her understand (I hope) that I don't want to work in my house like that right now. It's clean enough for me and I need to relax, rest, and heal. And someday when Katie has moved out, I will go through everything and fix the house how I want it. I think she finally understands! I'm not as sad as she thinks I am. I just don't want to go out very often. Like I said, I really need to rest, have peace, and heal! Well, that was a lot of rambling, but very therapudic! Hope you have a great day!

5 comments:

The Silver Thistle said...

How wonderful to get to know you a bit better. Hard to discuss and possibly hard to explain I imagine, but you come accross as someone who is totally at ease in her own skin. I take my hat off to you for knowing where you are and how you want to be. It won't have been easy for you to come to the decision but I think you've made the right move, for the right reasons. I know you'll be happy and hope that you find someone to share your happiness with...........but if that's not to be, I'm confident it'll be because of your own choosing. Well done for taking a stand and looking at the big picture.

Sue said...

Your Angel is great. Keep up the good work.

Mary Ann said...

Lynzee's angel is looking beautiful!! And, you know what? You have to live your life the way you see fit. It's good to hear that you were able to stand up for yourself. ((Big HUGS))

Jenna said...

I agree with the silver thistle. She hit the nail right on the head. You sound like someone who is very comfortable and at peace with who you are. I think that's truly incredible and inspirational. You are a very strong woman, Vicki, and I am glad that you are doing what's best for you. *hug*

Alberta said...

Vicki, thanks for stopping by my blog...I love your projects...and the new family addition is cute too!

I hope to get to know you better in the time to come!