Today has really been a rough day. I woke up at 5:00 this morning to find that my daughter's friend and her (the friend's) boyfriend had stayed all night at my house. I already have my daughter's best friend living here. That was supposed to be just for a few weeks, and it has now been 3 months. She is 19-yrs.-old and doesn't work or contribute in any way. Then this new friend has been "visiting" for almost 2 weeks and she doesn't contribute anything either, but they are both eating here and showering and washing clothes, etc. The new friend is 16-yrs.-old and isn't in school. Her mother actually brought clothes over here for her!!
I am in a very bad state - emotionally and financially. My daughter is very hateful and thinks she runs the house and me. I am behind in my bills and can't afford groceries! I have worked subbing the last 3 weeks. And I'm so tired!! Well, when I found out that we had a male visitor staying all night, I really lost it! I told everyone who was not my blood kin to get out! I told my daughter, who does no housework to help me out, that she had to get the house clean before I got home from my subbing job or she was leaving, too! I already had a migraine that I have had for 2 days. But I was still determined to go to that subbing job. So I make myself get dressed, use my last bit of gas to get over to the school, climb a BIG hill from the parking lot up to the building, climb 2 flights of stairs (and I have bad knees and can barely climb steps at all), and got to the class I was in yesterday and the teacher is there! She says, "Oh, I thought you weren't coming back." I said, "Why would you think that?" She said, "The teacher next door told me that you said you had a terrible day yesterday and that you were not coming back today," which I did not say! So she decided not to be out today and I don't have a job after I went over there and all!!! She didn't even call the system to cancel the job!! I made it back down the stairs and that long steep hill to my car before I totally broke down!! Talk about a BAD migraine!! I went over to my mom's and collapsed there. I cried so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye and it is really hurting! I sat all day with a cold wet cloth over my eyes. Mom went and got us some Dunkin' Donuts (which neither one of us has had in a L-O-N-G time) and we sat and talked and cried and even laughed some all day! She loaned me some money to help me out until I get the big paycheck for all the days I have subbed the last 3 weeks. When I finally came home, my daughter had actually cleaned the whole house!! Her best friend, who was not here this morning when I lost it and threw everyone out, had helped her. I told her BF that I really appreciated her helping with the cleaning, but that she had to leave and find somewhere else to live, also. I really love her and wanted to try to help her, but I'm just supporting her and I'm barely able to support myself and my daughter! She's not making a move to help herself! She said okay and I guess she got someone to come and get her. I feel like a zombie and my head is throbbing!! I'm going to bed and plan to stay there until Sunday or Monday!! I tend to let people (even my daughter) take advantage of me, and I have been through too much to do it any longer. If I don't get some of this stress off of me, I know I am going to have a breakdown! So I've taken my house back, taken my life back, stood up to my daughter and told her how things are going to change!! Now we'll see what happens! Please pray that God will give me the strength to put my life back together and to get my daughter back on the right track! Let's all have a happier day tomorrow!!